I think that it is fair to say that in my lifetime I have not been dealt the easiest hand in life. I wouldn’t change 99% of those experiences because without them I wouldn’t be the person I am today. However growing up a lot of the forthmentioned experiences severely knocked my confidence, and I believe that although my confidence is far greater than what it was that I my confidence still has a long way to grow. Basically when I was 7 months old I was rushed to hospital and after 3 days of tests was diagnosed with Septicaemia, a very severe form of Meningitis. Luckily after then finally worked out what it was (as I had no rash) and started to treat it. I very quickly recovered and was only in hospital for the whole of 6 days. Having heard stories of people surviving the condition losing limbs and other horror stories. I realise how lucky I am that none of those happened to me. I always think about how lucky I am to be here every year on Valentines Day, which was the date I was admitted to hospital. By the age of 2 it was confirmed that my Mother had MS which had been a suspicion since way before I was born. I have very vague memories of her walking unaided and my parents swinging me as we walked. At this time and up until I started School I was a VERY confident child. I would go up talking to anyone, including old people on the bus, a group of councillors, or the person who designed Spaghetti Junction just for a few examples. There were even times where I ducked in front of another child (at the time me aged 3 them aged 8) and pushed them off a ride so I could have a go. My Granddad was scared that one day someone was going to hit me for tricks like that. However sadly all that changed after I started school.
As much as I liked school, and primary level I really loved Maths and History (because I was good at them) but struggled with other subjects such as English. My parents and Granddad had suspected since the age of 3 that I was dyslexic. (I was brilliant at writing backwards). However when this was mentioned to my teacher in year 2. She told my parents that I was not dyslexic, that she was trained to spot dyslexic students and that if I was I would be in a special school. This teacher had also ripped up my work in from of other children in the class and called me thick. Also whilst at this school, a Dinnerlady took it upon herself to force me to use my knife and fork righthanded, even though I am lefthanded. I told my parents neither of these for a long time, because at the time I thought I would get in trouble. The year 2 teacher even put my estimated SAT level for Maths down as a Level 1, and then was surprised when she ran into the staff room shouting guess who got a level 3 in my class, and the staff got it in one. Unsurprisingly after year 2 I changed school, this was because it was after pupils heard a teacher calling me thick that they thought they could too, and even at 7 years old I was smart enough to realise that I needed to be at a school where people didn’t know the history.
By the time that I was 7 years old my Mum’s MS had really started to kick in, and now had a wheelchair, so as well as having to deal with the issues at school on my own, I was also helping my mum and dad out at home. The first couple of years at my new school were fine, the teachers were lovely and supportive (even though the dyslexia was still undiagnosed). However by year 5 history had decided that it was going to repeat its self. We had sets for English and Maths and we had been in sets since year 4. In Year 4 I had been in top set and was one of the more advanced in the class. So obviously in year 5 I was put in top set again. However this lasted about 5 minutes into the year. This is because my actual year 5 teacher (who was also the deputy head of the school) decided to pull me out of top set and put me in her set (bottom). The teacher of the top set was not impressed and tried to stop her. But apologised to me saying there was nothing he could do. This also happened in front of the whole class. Also during this year, at parents evening, she asked my parents if it had been a difficult birth because she thought I was brain damaged. My dad also enquired to why she had been marking all my maths work wrong when he could see that it was right. Her response being because she has not done it how I have asked and I can not follow how she has worked it out. My dad therefore thinking what she is telling us is that our daughter is better at maths than she is. The teacher also old them that I was not dyslexic and that they surely could find something better to spend inheritance money on than getting me tested, because it would be a waste of money and that my parents would have to accept the results, as they were set in stone and could not be appealed. I was tested the following summer which confirmed that I was dyslexic, and even after a year in bottom set maths at the age of ten I had the maths ability of a 16 year old. The test centre had been horrified that the report sent in by the school (from that teacher) and told my parents that they had to go back to the school and ensure I got the support I needed. Years later found out that they teacher who said they could not be appealed, tried to appeal it (because it proved her wrong).
Now in year six, back in top set maths and with one of (if not the best) teacher I ever had. I started to get the support I needed. By the end of the year when SAT results came out I got Level 5 Maths and Level 4 English. Sadly I was ill the day they were realised but my dad still needed to go down to the school, and my teacher, another teacher and the headteacher all came rushing soon as they saw my dad to tell him that I had a level 4 in English. That was the biggest achievement. The deputy head was nowhere in sight. It is fair to say that I had also got bullied at this school, because I had been a shy introvert person from my previous experiences. However on the last day in assembly the whole of year 6 did a performance and you could choose what to do. At the time I was a huge Britney Spears fan, and decided that I was (on my own) going to dance to hit me baby one more time. It had all the parents on their feet, and weirdly had all the students being really nice to be for the rest of the day. Was probably the first time in my life I had experienced popularity.
Then there was High School. Would have though that now the dyslexia had been diagnosed and was starting a new school that things would get better. How wrong could you be. I just happened to go to my local school, which to say was not the greatest would be an understatement, it was one of the worse schools in the area. I was severely bullied at this school, including once having my shoelace tied to a computer wire which sent me falling off my chair on to the floor. It got to the point that I was running out of school going home telling my parents that I didn’t want to go back. There was on one occasion even a teacher beaten up and then a student because they thought he had grassed about the teacher beating when he had not. I think that it would be fair to say that it was like the real life Waterloo Road. Again I had a teacher (my form tutor) who was not supportive at all. Thankfully my Head of Year was (excluding the time he embarrassed me in front of the whole year in assembly). But it got to the point where I was doing my work in his classroom instead of going to class. I felt like I was the one being punished for their behaviour. Eventually I had, had enough and decided that I was going to move schools (yet again).
So April of year 9 I started at my new school (about the best in the area) and when I started I really was a shell, any noise made me jump I was scared of my own shadow. Again along with all my problems at school I was more and more helping out at home to care for my mum, and I was getting to the most important time in my life yet just about to start my GCSEs. After I started the new school everything seemed to be looking up for me. I was at a school where people wanted to learn and where there was a strict Headteacher to keep everyone in line. I was doing well and getting the support I needed for my Dyslexia. It really did look like my luck had changed. The in November of year 10 I suddenly was feeling really tired all the time and could barely get out of bed. I was missing days at a time, and then on days I did get in I was often late because it had taken me so long to get up. After six months of going to the doctors everyweek and them barely taking it seriously (along with everyone at school thinking I was putting it on) a blood test confirmed that it was a form of ME called Coxsackie B. It took the whole of the rest of year 10 and 11 for me to get my energy back and really affected my GCSEs. To the point that my Mother asked my Head of Year if I could drop classics to concentrate on the others. This actually ended up being classics and sociology which was annoying because I loved that. It then grew (just after Mocks in year 11) to her asking me to drop everything that I didn’t have to take. It was a science college she wanted me to concentrate on science. I said no, because I was not dropping subjects I loved like History which I could get a C in (having been 1 mark off in the mock) for a subject I hated, didn’t understand and was never going to get a C regardless. She then told my parents that they had to tell me I had to drop everything. (something my parents were not going to do). This was also the teacher who asked me why I was wasting my time applying to Greenhead and New College because I was never going to get into either of them as I would not get 5 Cs, and that all I could aspire for was E2E at the Tech. She was right that you did need 5 Cs to get into Greenhead, but at New College you could do Level 2 courses as well as Level 3, which I told her. (She didn’t believe me). I finished school with 2Cs 4.5 Ds and 2 Es. But having been told I would get nothing higher than an F that is pretty impressive. History also seemed to repeat it’s self again. Results day and the Head of Year was no where in sight.
FINALLY: a turning point – I did three years at Huddersfield New College, and the first year was a real culture shock for me, I was top of the class and the teachers were sending students to me for help. This really did take a lot of getting used to. I had three good years at the college and really did help in boasting my confidence.
However when it came to deciding on Universities, I had always had it in mind that I wanted to be like my parents and go away to uni. I didn’t want to be somewhere within a commutable distance. This also provided the dilemma of me feeling guilty about wanting to leave home, where there would only be my dad to look after my mum. Although my parents would be the first to tell me not be so stupid and to live my life.
Eventually my dad came across a course at Swansea University and I feel in love even just reading it over the internet. I went to two open days once with my parents and another on my own. It was the Uni for me. I did apply else where but I knew where I was destined to be. I started in Sept of 2008 and was weird to be in a place knowing no one and everyone knowing me, having set a village facebook page up which got 600 members in a day. Rumour has it that the Union had a competition for the first of them to meet me. This is when my confidence really did start to pick up. I made really good supporting friends (which with the people I had to live with in first year i needed to get through it). One of these friends even helped me put myself into situations which I would never have dreamed of, such as standing in union elections. There are still situation were I am petrified such as giving speeches (I shake ALOT). But my friends at Uni tell me how much more confident I am since I started (if only they had seen me five years prior) they would have realised how much my confidence had grew by the time I started Uni. Whilst at Uni I often rang home just to make sure that everything was ok with my Mum. I graduated in 2012 with a 2:1. Since then I have worked at Wakefield College, and Calderdale Council. I have also had to deal with unemployment twice. the first being for five months.
The point to this very long back story is that even from a young age with very little confidence I knew that if I was going to get anywhere in life that I needed a good education and that if I was going to achieve that then I needed to fight all the people (teachers) standing in my way. Although I do wish that I had more confidence I am very proud of myself for what I have achieved any the amount of people I have proved wrong along the way. Also without mentioning names, give thanks to all the people who did support me and help me grow. They know who they are and they all know I appreciate it.
bethienoodles 